1. destroy everything

1. eat salad
2. eat salad
3. eat pizza

monday to-do

1. catch my death like a baseball
2. throw it back out into the world

changes

1. change love to like
2. change small to average
3. change like back to love

Saturday

1. huevos rancheros
2. fortune teller
3. know future
4. adjust plans accordingly.

life plan

1. move to peru
2. raise alpacas
3. sheer said alpacas
4. spin the wool into yarn
5. knit a very large blanket
6. go to sleep forever

Articles I would write for Slate.com if I were a writer for Slate.com

1. The historical significance of the lolcat

2. Corrections from Last Week: a detailed listing of everything I regret doing and not doing over the period of 7 days.

3.Detroit: The most underrated city in this hip-hop game

4. Slanket vs. Snuggie: history and product review to determine which is truly the superior sleeved blanket of our time.

5. A Dear Prudence chat session where I masquerade as Emily Yoffe and give everyone bad advice.

Goals:

1. create a blog
2. buy pumpkin